This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007



I don’t understand,

Why duct tape fixes everything,

Why chicken soup always makes you feel better.

Why chocolate makes you fat.

Most of all I don’t understand,

Why people can’t forgive.

Grudges are held,

Hate is heated,

Light goes to black,

Friends to enemies,

Instruments fade away and voices get louder.

What I understand the most is,

When we forgive,

Grudges are let go,

Hate cools,

Sun comes back,

Enemies become friends,

What I hear is music to my ears.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Trusting people!

How can you prove to some one that you mean what you say? You can say the same thing over and over bit they still might not listen to you. Benjermen Franklin has a simple answer. He said, "People may doubt what you say, but they will alway believe what you do." What Mr. Fanklen is saying is that to fain someones trust you have to show them, not jsut tell them. I can promise my mom that I'll clean my room but, that promise means nothing until I actually do it .......oops! lol

We can also apply this to our lives as Christians. In order to get people to listen to us we have to show them what we are different. If we say we are different because of Christ then go get drunk, our actions will speak louder than words.

So next time you say you will do something, DO IT! ( yes I need to clean my room). Next time you say you are different, PROVE IT! If you do this, over time more and more people will trust you more and more and let me tell ya, having people trust you is a great feeling :)

Friday, December 7, 2007


It's closing in all around me,
Coming closer I can hardly see.
There's a 10 pound weight on my chest,
Seriously you're lucky I'm even dressed.
I'm stuck in a mess,
This little thing called stress.
All the voices getting loud,
I wish I could float away on a cloud.
A smile every where I go,
The things I deal with no one will ever know.
I want to sink down deep,
Into an ever lasting sleep.
Never to rise,
And face the endless lies.
I don't understand,
Why am I always the one getting slammed?
I know every one else has bad problems too,
But they all seem to have a matt, jack, or sue.
My friends see me glow,
So many things, would they care to know?
I reach for someone with which my pain to share,
But as I reach the only thing I feel is air.
At the end there used to be hope,
But now I see NOTHING that can help me cope.
With the pain inside,
Little by little I have died.
Now there's barely anything there,
How can I continue to bear?
Someone is throwing a dart,
Right into my heart.
The ones I thought loved me,
Are as far away as the sea.
Yes, I have pride,
I have nearly always lied.
Standing in line,
They ask me if I'm fine.
Of course I am,
I say as I throw up my big dam.
Do I dare?
Would anyone care?
It's seems,
Everything pours over into my dreams.
In the night obsessing over everything,
I jump as I hear the dinging.
Killing my head,
Telling me it's time to get out of bed.
No matter what I say it's time to get up and face another day.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


see no color!! but I'm thinking I'll do purple like jen's next.. like soon? lol love ya!

OK I CUT MY HAIR!! like 6" off it!!! lol so the first pic I really like but if you look close at the 2nd pic at he back ground it's just realllly cool!! lol so ya! tell me what ya'll think!

Monday, December 3, 2007

different people

I just finished reading a book (bright purple by melody carlson) it is absolutely amazing. It's part of a series that deals with hard issues for teens today. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND ALL OF THEM!
This one was about homosexuals. Basically this girls best friend tells her she is a lesbian. She has to work through all her fear, anger, confusion, and hate. By the end of the book she comes to realize that while homosexuality is a sin Jesus still wants us to love and accept the person though not the sin.

Do you remember that story in the bible where the prostitute is about to get stoned and Jesus of all people comes to her defense? "Let you who have no sin cast the first stone." Basically he is the only one that could do that. He saved this lady's life by loving her. She changed and they all went on ladedodeda. No it doesn't always happen like that, sometimes people don't change, things don't always work out.
Now you might be thinking, "well I am not a homosexual, prostitute, druggie, or alcoholic. So I don't have that sin." Haha ya well think again! The lord says that all the sins are the same to him. They are all things against what he wants and says in the Bible. So to him it doesn't matter if I reach for a cookie I'm not supposed to have or if I reach for dope. One sin is not bigger than the other. What matters is if I'm willing to give God a chance to help me.

Yes it is God who can change a person but it is also our responsibility as Christians to show his love and acceptance to EVERYONE, We may not agree with them or have the same morals or approve of their choices, But God says "hate the sin not the person"
So that is what I'm going to do. I'm going to reach outside of my box and love somebody different. I chalange you to do the same, today in your everyday life try reaching out to some one who is different and loving them for the person God made them to be not the baad choices.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Everything is so dark,
So hopeless.
A cloud over head.
Every time the sun starts to shine,
The clouds close up and it pours.

Swimming in jello.
Not dead,
Not alive.

Tears come way to much,
Curled in a fetal position.
Trembling with fear,
Trying to sleep it away.
Moving like a snail,
No energy.

Rocks in the throat,
Forcing another breath.
Slowly fading like the sun,
Disappearing like sugar in water.

Black is good,
Black is safe.
Crying tears of blood,
Head spinning.

Bed is the best place,
No need to pretend.
Quick sand pulling,
Starting to drown.
Crying for help,


Saturday, November 10, 2007





HELLLLLLLLP!!!! ok I need every one to vote in the poll and tell me what I should do!!! I'm about to cut about 4" (at least) off my hair and I'm trying to figer out what to do with my bangs..... So ya I need you guys to vote and let me know!!!! (THE POLL IS AT THE BOTTOM PAGE)

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Some Day My Prince Will Come


OK every one go "awwww" yes I love this pic and it reminds me of that song from Snow White. Do you ever look around and feel like Snow White, like you will never find that one person, and everyone around you has their bf and gf and your just kinda standing there smiling wondering if you will ever find that one person it seems everyone else has already found. I feel like this all the time! I have tried dating and I learned a lot from both of the relationships I was in but I guess that they just weren't right. I just don't understand why I can't find that perfect guy.... then I happen to remember that I'm only 16!!!! What the heck do I want a boyfriend for? I'm having sooo much more fun flirting with every guy ;) Ok ya it would be totally awesome to always have some one there and some one that likes you for you and that you don't have to impress. But seriously, I have my whole life ahead of me for that. I guess I'm just sick of doing that stupid girl thing, "does he think I'm hot? I wonder if he likes me? What makes her better than me? How can I get his attention? Do I even like him?"
I know I know it's stupid and I'm not really that worried about what others think about me, but still it's a girl thing.
You know, when God wants me to find that one amazing guy I will and I will have no doubt in my mind that he is the right one. Until then I guess I'll go on having fun and just hanging out with guys until God tells me differently (and he better make it pretty clear cuz I'm so confuzed!).
So ya I know that is all just a bunch of rabbling and I really don't know if it makes any since but what ever! :)

This is my blue hair.... although it has pink in it now... and I might go black soon but I'm not sure... lol but ya I love it!!!

Saturday, November 3, 2007


Seth got hurt at a hockey tournament and now he is at the hospital so if you guys could all pray.
It's only his knee but it could be really a long time getting better... so ya that's bout all I know :) It could be just lots of ice and propping it up...... either way it's not fun!
lol thanks!


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Life is Stupid

Ok so first I am on my way to spanish I take the wrong way and have to wast $1 on toll stuff and that makes me late to class.... then I do really bad on a quiz...... then I drive all the way home witch is a lot of gas. I get home for like 2 seconds ( ok like 10 min) then go to gymnastics and was late there too cuz spanish got out a little late.

So yesterday I get a call from my coach she said that I made it to state!!!! My freshman year I went on bars last year I went on vault, but this year I'm going on both!!!! yes I'm totally stoked! when I got there my coach handed me a paper saying that I was the athlete of the month in alllll of our district! ya amazing!
So I go to the gym tonight living off of the sugar of root beer and cookies... ya if you do sports you know that's NOT a good thing, and it wears off way to fast! But I'm so determined to do well and get ready for state on Saturday and hopefully try some new skills. I worked bars for 2 hours straight I tried to do straddle backs for oh like an hour and forty min!!! And never even let go of the stupid bar! so I decide to go to strap bar and try handstand giants.... haha ya those weren't so hot ether!!! so then I go home with my wrists all swollen from my grips and then my hands burning from the bars! AND LET ME TELL YA! that is pretty much the least of my problems right now!
so ya it wasn't a great day and I'm sorry if you sat here and read that, but hey what is a blog worth if I can't vent once every 26 times I wright! lol I love you all!!!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

My Life Unscripted by Tricia Goyer (book review)

Before I say anything else I'm gonna say . . . YOU HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!!!!!!

Ok! With that out of the way, I think I should probably tell ya a little about it book.

My Life Unscripted book is THE BEST devotional style book I have ever read. Instead of a strict Bible study where you read then write a response to the teaching, it is set up in random sections that include several different ways to think about the subject. You can read literal scripts that are based on the author's life as well as her thoughts on each subject. You can write what you think as you go. There are also Bible verses and quotes from teens telling about their experiences. (And yours truly is quoted several times. :o))

This book is not directed to the "perfect" girl in any way. It is for real people who struggle with real life. In this book Tricia is completely honest with the mistakes she made as she was trying to find who she was. I love the way she is so vulnerable with her life, writing to help younger girls learn from her mistakes rather than learning the hard way. Tricia writes in a way that anyone can understand.

What sets My Life Unscripted apart from most books is that it doesn't put guilt on anyone for mistakes. Rather, it shows how to forgive yourself and accept God's forgiveness, as well as how to forgive others and try to make it right.

I'm realllllly not sure what else to say about it, but it is seriously the most awesome book ever and you should all buy and read it!!!!!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Butterfly (2)

! The Butterfly (2) !

Dipping and dodging,

Twisting and turning,

For the first time,


Stretching to the sky,

Floating on the wind,

Sun dancing through wings.


Posing for admirers,

Perched on a white rose,

Flirting with life,


The Buterfly (1)

More Home work!

%The Butterfly%

Curled in a ball,

The dark all around,

Nice and warm,


What is that?

It’s bright!

Shrinking back,

What to do now?

It grows stronger,


It’s beautiful,

Still not moving,

Feeling the draft,

It’s refreshing,


Slowly stretching,

Turing towards the light,

Welcoming the warmth,

All around,

Exposed to the world,



When I was writing this it was for my poetry class but every time I read it it reminds me of my friend Jennie! It's just sooo her! So ya I think I might start posting my poems that I write for home work if ya'll don't mind :)
love ya!


The grass tickles my feet.

The mud squishes between my toes.

A branch brushes my cheek.

The water rushes at my ankles.

The sun shining hot through the trees, hot on my head.

Cool, fresh spring breeze waves my hair.

The sweet smell of the flowers in my hair catch on the air.

A bird sings, A woodpecker pecks, A bug buzzes.

Just standing there.

Soaking it all in.

It’s barely different now,

Than when I was three.

The only thing changed in this forest is me.

Looking Glass

When I look in the mirror all I want to see,

Is nothing but plain old me.

When I raise my eyes I see a stranger,

My hear beats fast as if there were danger.

Should I pull from my eyes the hair?

My hands shake, do I dare?

Who’s eyes are those?

Almost as strange as those toes.

I’m buried deep inside,

Almost as if I died.

What would it take to make me alive?

In the cool deep water I could dive.

To wash away all the fake,

And raise the social stake.

What if they don’t like who I am?

And block me out just like a dam.

I don’t know if I could bear,

Then I think, why do I even care?

No one tells the waves what to do in the sea,

So why should they tell me?

I will step into my own,

Even if I do it alone.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


1. I LOVEEEEEE to read

2. Some of my best friends I haven't seen in like FOREVER! Yet they are still awesome friends!

3. OMG! I love being single!

4. I hope to be a gymnastics coach some day

5. Acting is one of my passions

6. I have never really kissed a guy (or a girl.... lol)

7. I'm really running out of ideas for my blog! so if you have any let me know!

8. I reallllly love working fast food... idk why!?!?! it's sooo weird but I love it!

9. I went to home coming at a a school this year

10. I'm working back hand springs ON the beam AHHHH!!!!! *PRAY* lol

11. I love my car!!!!

12. Gerber Daisys are like my favorite flower!

13. I love blue hair!!

14. I have a secret world I go to and I don't think I will ever tell any one about it!

15. My berth stone is a purple!!!! how did that on happen!?

16.I LOVE MY GYMNASTICS COACH! I wish all of you knew her you would love her too!

17. I love my gymnastics team!!!! They are some of the coolest people I know!!!! you all would love them too!

18. I have started writing poetry, if you couldn't tell lol , and I'm not that bad at it!!! lol

19. I'm getting an A in math!!!!! this is amazing!!!!!

20. I think I look pretty hott with the surfer look... tehehe

21. I'm talking to guys now!!! lol and they are awesome friends!

22. I really miss the people that graduated last year..... like REALLY miss them

ya I think that's it I need to go do some math before I go to bed... lol so ya!!!! love you all!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Being yourself

Being your self no matter what? oh gosh that's hard! I think I finally started being my self no matter where I am or who I'm with. this has been a big step for me. I have always felt like I'm one person at gymnastics, one person at school, one person at church,one person at speech and debate. That is like 4 different people I am! That isn't very healthy. Yet it's something almost everyone will go through before they are grown, most will fight it for the rest of their life too. about 3 months ago I finally figured out who I am. Now that person isn't going to be some one realllly smart, realllly athletic, or realllly artsy. I am all of those things wrapped in one, I'm not really good at any of them but put a little of each together and that's me! Yesterday 2 of my best friends were declared speech captains for our club. It's really hard not to be jealous because I have done speech longer than both of them. But one thing they don't know is I'm the captain of my gymnastics team. If I step back and look I would prefer to be the captain of gymnastics more than the speech team. First thought I would rather do it for speech because that's where most of my friends would see that I'm good at something, but stepping back that's not what I should care about. I would make a much better gymnastics captain than a speech captain. I'm ok with being my self now and doing what I do for me to please God and not other people and trying to impress others. because I would never survive my life if I tried to conform to what others think. I'm happy just being me and by being me its being what God wants me to be. Yes I do care about what my close friends think, because their opinion often reflects what God's oppion of me is. But other than that I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! lol and oh gosh it's so nice knowing that I only have to please God and not everyone else! lol
ok so I'm done rambling on.... lol ya NIGHT!!!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Closed Books

Closed book

Am I the only one?
That feels completely undone?
As I look,
I feel like every one is a closed book.
All sharing smiles,
All we really want to do is run away for miles.
Yet we stand there and shake hands,
Talking about the latest bands.
Waiting inside stories untold,
Of pain rust and mold.
All the hurt that has been given,
We try to keep it hidden.
Though when we're alown,
We groan.
With the fear,
Of not being dear.
All the things done wrong,
Viberate in my head like a big Chinese gong.
It won't allow me to let go,
The guilt and shame just seems to grow.
They are listed one by one,
Oh what have I done!
But stop and listen to us talk,
You'll hear a prep, punk, or jock.
Why do we hide,
What we have inside?
Why are we so embarrassed?
It's not like these things are cherished!
Heave a deep sigh,
Some how some way we are going to get by.
Maybe we should take a moment to deeply look,
Find a key and OPEN the CLOSED book.

What do I look like?

Melissa and me with our cookies!

" Do you want a soda?"

"No thanks prom is saturday and I have to fit in my dress!"

"Ummm ok...."

Ok so this is what it is with most of my friends, Some of them are like that when there is something big comming up. Some are just like that all the time. And I just don't get it! Ok so ya I don't gain weight and I eat a tone, but that's because I work out atleast 2 hours a day (gymnastics). When I think about it being fit isn't just about how I look, it's more about taking care of my body. If every one just added a little exsersize in their day, 1 they would loose weight and 2 they would have more energy and be a lot happyer. I know this because my mom just started exsersizeing and she is much nicer.... lol ;)

And starving yourself a week before prom will do you no good. This is a picture of my best friend and me the day of prom. We had a sleepover the night before and did manicures, fachiels, and masages, (golly I can't spell!) AND we also ate a wole pizza, a whole thing of frosting, and a thing of like 84 cookies, and had hot cocoa! little to say it was sooo mcuh fun!!!! wile everyone else is starving and only eating veggies for a week we had as much junk food as we could because we take care of our selves all the time. That was one of the best memories I will ever have with Meilssa. She has graduated now and that was the best way to spend her seinor prom!

Here is a REALLY easy way to get back in shape if you don't do any sports or anything.

1) Try doing something active for atleast 30 min a day. Walking with a friend is a great start!

2) Eat a fruit and a veggie every day.

3) limment your slef to one sugar thing a day..... I have a major peoblome with this, but did you know that most people are addicted to sugar? I know I am!!! and it's hard but after a wile you won't even want to eat it anymore! it's really cool :)

4) KEEP POSITIVE! you can do anything you put your mind to!

5) Pray- God can help with anything!

So ya this was a reallly weird post but I think it's really important to take care of your self, and if you start when your young then it will be easer when your older and you will most likely live longer to!
Posted by Picasa

Friday, August 24, 2007


Guys are sometimes rude,
And nearly always crude.
BUT, sometimes they can be totally sweet,
I mean having a guy look at you like that is really neat.
He's as cute as a bug,
When he gives you a hug.
But where are his eyes staring?
Don't you think that's a little daring?
But then he lightly touches your hand,
Oh the tingle down your spine is so grand!
What does he say when your not around?
Is he talking to the guys and putting you down?
When he says something to make you blush,
Your heart just turns to mush.
You give a long sigh,
With so much happiness how could one die?
But then you blink,
And so much faster then you think.
You grew up,
Almost as fast as filling up a cup.
When you look deep in the core,
You know it just won't work anymore.
Then it's done,
Just as fast as it begun.
Lord take care of him,
Don't let his vision be dim.
Let him live for you,
And for the girl he will someday marry too.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

ok so I'm just showing ya'll that I bleached my hair!!!!! I can dye the bottom different colors too!! lol so far I have only done pink... but I think it's pretty awesome!!!!!
( can you tell that I just figered out how to put up pictures?!?!?!) lol SEE CHRISTANS CAN BE WEIRD TOO!!! lol wow
Posted by Picasa
I just thought this was soooo pretty!!!! (I did play with the colors some on the computer.. lol) ISN'T IT COOL!?!? lol ok I'm done now!!
Posted by Picasa


Every one looks at Job in the Bible and says "man poor guy look at what he lost and the pain he went through!" God looked at Job and said "he can handle it, he is my child and his heart belongs to me."

If you read the story you will see that before satin was able to even touch Job he had to ask premistion. Every step of the way he had to keep going back to God and ask if he could do anything else to hurt one of God's servants. He is like a little kid that has to ask every time he wants a cookie!

And yet God still let Job go through all that pain.


Because God KNEW that Job could handle it and would not turn his back on him. Even with every one around him saying "Job! It would be better to curse God and die than to live!" Job shook his head and knew that there was a reason for everything. In the end God blessed Job and gave him MUCH more than he had before!

So let's put this in today's scope. What ever your going through, it's not God turning his back on you. It's not that your getting punished for something bad you had done. Maybe God is preparing you for something or teaching you something. Just think about it. NO bad thing comes from God. BUT, God has to give premision for it to happen. God knows just how much you can handle. He won't give us more than we can take. So if your thinking about giving up.....


God has a plan for your life and he will not forsake you. Grab his hand, ask for help, and don't lose your faith, and I know things will get brighter.


I wish someone was out there,
Watching me glare.
Then they would see my pain,
Then they would see through my smile and know it's all just a game.
How can I go on?
Everything I do just seems so wrong!
Each morning as the sun rises I mone,
Not yet ready to get out of my comfort zone.
Love is gone,
Yet some now I have to move on.
Barly holding on to hope,
Not knowing how to cope.
Friends have moved out,
They think I'm fine with out a doubt.
as the days roll by I'll just sit here and wait,
And they'll go on yet another date.
Loneliness is closing in,
How can I get up and start again?
Why should I even try?
Would it not be better just to die?
Trying to be hot,
The mior telling me I'm not.
Struggling to learn,
But my head just starts to burn.
Now I understand that the mess I see,
Is not everyone else, it's me.
I'll grab a hand,
Slowly stepping to ferm dry land.
The raging waters behind,
No longer mine.
It's in someone else's care,
No longer mine to bear.
Hope will come,
Perhaps even with the morning song.
I see a flicker of light,
of streanth, power, and might.
I soak up the morning rays,
Longing to do so for the rest of my days.
Take a deep breath,
No, now is NOT the time for death.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


So my family is up in the mountians for a week. We got a really cool condo with 2 beadrooms and bathrooms, ya I got stuck on the couch... lol oh well I dont' really care! it's really nice with 3 TV/dvd/vcr players, indoor/outdoor pool, game room, library, and free movie rentals! I have been to many condos in my life because of the timeshare thing..... but I think I like this one the best so far! It was really cool because when we got it we wern't expecting anything to nice, we new it had a cool swimming pool but that's about it! When we got there I just felt so cool! like a huge weight from the last few weeks was lifed off me. I smiled again, ate again, and even volanteered to clean the kitchen!!!! lol

It was just a little present from God I think. He knows just when we don't feel like we are going to make it any further and then he puts his arms around us and gives us a present... kinda like Santa Clause! lol

Well my time on the computer is running out so I better wrap this one up! I miss you all!!!!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Weird day!


Ya... scary hu? lol well I kinda had a car wreck.... ya it was a couple days ago..... and let me tell ya I'm still shaking from it!! I didn't hit anything or gt hurt but the car is kinda sad... lol we are trying to fix it... but I can't drive it. So that plus other stuff that has been happening... like trying to get a job.... missing all my friends..... and stuff like that, I'm like totally over the top. But I have really for the first time in my life felt God holding my hand through it all. He has been right there the whole time even when I was spinning out of control I knew God was there I just felt it... it was a weird but awesome feeling.

After that happened I realized how much each and every one of my friends means to me. Everyone from the people I haven't seen in a few years to my closest friends. If anything happeneds to any of them or to me it's just really great to know that we are friends and care about each other and love each other. Two of my friends heard about this and called me right after they heard to see if I was ok. Then when they new that I was still pretty shaken up went to youth group and asked people to pray that everything would be ok, that I could calm down and we could find a way to pay for my car to get fixed. I know every last one of my friends would have done the same thing but it was just really cool to have it actually shown to you. I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!

Sunday, July 15, 2007


This morning was total crap! I got up had a fight with my parents, I was soooo mad and stuff that Seth... yes this is MY BROTHER SETH.... like the one that beats me up... lol anyway he gave me a real hug!!! lol For those of you who know how Seth and I are (we love each other and show it by hitting or mouthing off to each other) you know that's pretty much amazing!

So I go to church and I pretty much yell at God the whole service. Our paster talked about having people that you could talk to and having people that are always there for you and being there for others. Also, how God is always there..... ya I had 2 of my best friends EVER on ether side of me and I don't know if I have a pride issue... or what because I couldn't admit to them that I just needed a friend to give me a hug and maybe even cry with me (yes Sarah does cry.... sometimes lol). And I'm yelling at God because he made me this way. Because he wasn't there for me, ever since I got back from camp it seems like I got so close with God there that when I I came back, and when you don't feel him any more you just feel sooooo empty. I felt like God didn't care.... You know I have been told time after time that I have a strong faith, and I think I finally fingered out why, I work sooooooo hard to have faith when it really seems that God isn't there, which is pretty much all the time for most of my life.

So this so called "strong faith" was hanging on by a thread and I was so about to get a pair of siccors, cut it and be done! Unless God could prove to me some how that he was there. You know I had to put a good face on because I was around people all day (one of my friends did know what had happened and was there for me and golly I love her for it!)

I get home and get a call from a friend from camp and his best friend had just became a Christan! This is like totally and answer to prayer, almost every night right before I go to sleep I try to pray for what ever comes to my mind first. All most every night I prayed for this guy to come to know God. AND GUYS! IT HAPPENED!!!!! I felt like crying with happiness when I heard that this had happened! This was an answer to many peoples prayer.... and it was just what I needed to put the siccors down and not cut the thread keeping God and me together. I see that as 2 miracls in 1!

Thank God!

Friday, July 13, 2007


Before I go in to this I just want to say I believe in what I see in the Bible, you are born a sinner and unless you turn to God and give your life over to him then you will die a sinner and go to hell.

This doesn't explain WHY? When we have angels and demons, God and Satan. Why can't we just settle everything on earth? Or why dose the spiritual people have to pull us in to their stuff? Why would such a "all loving", "merciful" ,"caring" , God put some people in hell and some in heaven? When God has said in the Bible that every sin is just that a sin. Some one might kill their sister, but I might just think about killing my brothers (lol), it's all the same to God a sin is a sin. So why do when I say I'm sorry for my sins and the other dude just laughs at God what did he do to deserve eternal damnation???

I have to say I feel sorry for the people that don't know and/or don't care about what happens in the "after life". SOMETHING had to happen to make them like this! What hurts could be in their past to make them want to hurt others!?!? It could be something as simple as coming home to a empty house every day after school when they were little. ( Now I'm not judging those who have kids go home after school by them selves. It's just a small example.)

I think that if we can just show love to the world (by the world I don't mean your good little homeschool group, youth group, or trusted family.) we can do much more than any one could ever think!

Now I'm not saying that I'm any good at this I'm totaly bad, I was a crp to my family all day and that I'm sure isn't what Jesus has in mind for loving the world. I'll try to do better though!

Thursday, July 12, 2007


Ok guys!

Here is what my day was like!

I got up did math that I actually understood (for those of you who know me well you know that like NEVER happens!) then I went to work on year book! Yes I love doing this! I got there about 11:30am and didn't get home till 10:00pm! I was soooo in heaven we worked on so much stuff like the love bug page.... MY ALL TIME FAVORITE! We finished the year book!

During this time I put in an applications at a cool place to work because I knew the manger would be there. When I went in and gave him my application, he said he would look over it and call me to set up an interview. Now guys, I have one friend that works there and another that just picked up an application! Wouldn't that be awesome to work with 2 of my good friends!?!?! lol Ok so I think it would be heaven!
Just pray that I get the job!

Guys I can't explain the fun I had today! I saw my whole year laid out before me in our year book and this year has been one of the best and worst of my whole life! It was just amazing to see what God had done with my friends and me since the beginning of the year!

So ya! I write about more "depressing" stuff a lot and I just thought that to tell ya that if I can have a awesome day once in a wile then you are due for one soon too!!! lol
Love you!

oh ya look at my mom's blog if you want to see pics of my sweet 16!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Harry Potter

You have all at least heard of the Harry Potter books.... if not......... I'll give you a little of the story line......

Harry Potter was just a baby when the most powerful wizard killed his mom and dad and tried to kill him, but for some reason the little baby got away with only a scar on his forehead. Now this was unheard of, if this guy wanted you dead then you would be dead.

Through out all the books he is questioning why did this have to happen? Why me? Why can't I just be normal and have my parents?

In the long run he ends up saving his school, his friends, his teachers, and in a few ways he saves the world. It was all because of what happened when he was little.... if he was normal, if he did have his parents, if he didn't have amazing and unusual talents because of the scar (kinda), he would not have been able to stand up and save him self and all these people.

So why the heck did I just say all that?

Because I often ask God why? why me? Why can't I just be like my friends? Why do I have to go through this?

Some times God let's us go through things that at the time it just seem like he is turning his back on us. Life can be so hard and horrible and we feel alone. But then in a day , a month, a year, or who knows even on our death bed and we see how God used that hard time to help us grow or so we can use it to help others.

It's just nice to know that what crap happens in life can be turned around and used for what ever God wants it to be..... it may not be now, it may not be when you want it, and you might not see it all the time but I promise if you keep holding on and trusting in God HE WILL pull you through.

HA! and my mom says Harry Potter can't be spiritual! lol ;)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

10 things most people don't know about me! (stuppid and random mostly)

1~ I love hanging out with my moms friends!

2~ When I was little and the Summer Olympics came on I would go to my room and close the door and try to do back flips! ( it's a wonder I'm still alive!)

3~ I think there should be full contact football for girls!

4~ One of my favorite songs is Amazing Grace

5~ I think my favorite color to paint my nails is BLACK!

6~ I love little kids so much that I considered starting a day care when I got older

7~ I get REALLY shy around a bunch of new people when I don't have friends with me ( I JUST found this one out at camp! lol)

8~ My brothers and I really do love each other even though we pretty much kill each other when we are around other people!

9~ One of my favorite books when I was little was The Velveteen Rabbit

10~ I REALLY should be in bed right now! lol But I love my friends! And Jesus loves me! (wow talk about RANDOM!)


Ok I know a lot of you have heard me give this speech WAY to many times for it to mean anything but hey I thought I would post it and just let some other people see what they think! I personally LOVE this speech! It was kina funny the way that I wrote it.... It started out as a persuasive easy... but then I thought I would make it a wee bit longer and compete with it in speech. Also, at this time I was starting to feel like I needed to know what my boundries were with dating and stuff like that, But my dad being the "cool" guy he is wouldn't tell me! I started to find books and read books on my own about dating and relationships. Then I wrote THIS speech. When I was done I showed it to my mom and dad and they said "OK so you agree with everything you wrote?" I said "DUH!" (LOL) and they just said ok so do we :) I was like OK! So ya that is my "interesting" story for the day! lol but ya I love this speech!


By Sarah Moldenhauer

“Cornelia! Jonathan Thompson is here and talking to daddy about you!”

“Katherine! Mother JUST talked to you about listening to conversations not intended for your ears! Did you hear what they were saying?”

“ I don’t know… but he brought pretty flowers!”

This is a conversation you could have observed 100 years ago. What is Mr. Thompson talking to Cornelia’s father about? It is something that has been lost to the majority of my generation. It’s called court ship. When a girl is able to get married, a young man comes to her father and asks to court her. Now this isn’t how it happens very often today. If a boy wants to take a girl on a date, then he simply asks and she gives her reply. Sometimes there are boundaries put in place by the parents of the teen or the teens themselves. Too often, however, these boundaries are unclear. How can my generation know what to do about dating in TODAYS society? There is one way, parents and teens must seek Gods guidance together as they examine the three avenues to find that special someone God has intended for us: Courtship, Dating, and Group dating.

Some people, mostly teens, would say that courtship is confining and unreasonable in modern society. On a local blog page it is said that courtship limits the world of people you might happily end up with. Some parents who encourage courtship believe it protects their children from heartbreak and the pain of a bad relationship. In Eric and Leslie Ludy’s book When God Writes Your Love Story they said, “I had asked others for advice. Those from the older generation had simply given guidelines to follow, which were so out of touch with the reality of my world that they were worthless to me. As a Christian I had listed carefully to the instructions given by the church leaders, and tried to follow the Christian rules of dating to the letter. But their rules never protected me from a broken heart and shattered life.” By saying the “Christian way of dating” Leslie Ludy isn’t necessarily talking about courtship but the point remains that for many courtship appears out of touch with today’s generation.

However, there are many things about courtship that are wise to consider. Courtship isn’t like it was 100 years ago, with family picnics instead of a movie or parents conspiring to control their child’s romantic life. Although in some stricter situations this is a possibility. Courtship is unique because you don’t court every person that comes along, and you wait until your ready for marriage. For some, it is worth being patient and not dating until you’re older and more prepared to make life-impacting decisions. Some also believe that courtship is safer, not only for your heart, but because it helps with the temptation to make immoral choices. While courtship can’t prevent heartbreak, it can reduce the opportunity.

Since the time of courtship, a more popular and well-known way of finding that special someone has made it’s splash in today’s society: Dating. Teens simply go on dates with someone they want a relationship with. If it is done the way the world does it, dating relationships can start as young as 4th or 5th grade. This causes many problems later in life. Leslie Ludy’s book also talks about the advice she received from her peers regarding dating. She said, “When I turned to those in the younger generation, I found that we were all in the same boat: an endless cycle of shallow and cheap romances that never lasted and left us emotionally bleeding and insecure.”

Most teens claim to know how to handle relationships. There are some cases where this is true, but most of the time inexperience makes us as lost as our peers. Unfortunately too much is decided by peer pressure instead of personal morals.

While there are negatives, most people today find dating a more excepted approach. One must look realistically at the pressure a teen faces everyday. While this cannot be an excuse, we must acknowledge that it IS difficult and embarrassing to have your peers know that you ARE different and NOT going to follow in their footsteps. Dating isn’t necessarily a bad thing when navigated with healthy boundaries. So many lessons can be learned as a teen dates including who you are becoming and what character traits you desire in a future spouse.

Now let’s step back and think for just a moment. As a parent you might love the idea of courtship, but chances are your teen will not. An important thing in making these decisions, is they shouldn’t be one sided. It can ruin a relationship between the parents and teen if the youth feels over protected or under trusted. Sometimes a previously honest teen becomes devious when decisions have been forced on them instead of being allowed to participate in the decision making process. I have read story after story and seen it happen over and over again. When a parent forces their teen into their personal box, the teen gets a sense they are not trusted—which can be hard thing to deal with for a teen who strives to be honorable. Many teens are more responsible than their parents believe, and some just aren’t no matter what they say. (Just some advice to teens out there. In most situations, your parents won’t just hand over freedom. You have to earn it. Show your parents you’re not only smart, but trustworthy and wise as well.)

In light of this, it doesn’t seem as though a compromise can be reached. We need to find a place of wisdom where we maintain Godly morals without being out of touch with the reality of our culture. There is one way. However, parents are going to have to let go and trust their teen. And my generation must listen and respect their parent’s boundaries. This brings us to our third option: group dating. In group dating, several teens go bowling, out to dinner, or to other events together. At a reasonable age and once the teen has proven to be trustworthy, they are allowed to have a relationship with someone from the other gender without all the pressure of a one on one date.

I believe group dating is the most beneficial approach to each person involved. It doesn’t alienate the teen to the opposite gender, but it does give boundaries and provide more structure. Also, parents are still involved. They approve the activity and the people in the group. In group dating, the point is you aren’t alone with someone of the opposite gender until you know more about who you are and what God wants you to do. Activities are done with peers who hold you accountable. You guard your heart by avoiding the seriousness of a more advanced one on one dating relationship until you are older. This isn’t going to completely prevent the heartbreak of boy-girl relationships, but it can help.

No matter which approach you choose in the dating dilemma, parents should allow room for activities outside of the family and not become overly emotionally involved with their child’s relationships. Parents should also make an effort to know the peer group of their kids and parents and teens should work hard to keep open dialogue regarding their experiences. In research with Christian authors Justin Lookado and Hayley DiMarco in their book “Dateable,” and through personal experience, I have discovered that when you get really close with the family of a boyfriend or girlfriend and the relationship ends, it can be much more painful. It feels as though you’re breaking up with the whole family, and not just that person. It is great to know the family of your boyfriend or girlfriend; you just need to be careful not to get too attached until the relationship becomes serious.

Perhaps you are wondering why I have chosen to spend ten minutes talking to you about navigating male-female relationships. To some, this may not seem like an appropriate topic for a homeschool speech competition. But if you think about it, the fact is, my generation will run our country in a few, short years. How we mature through this season of our life and the choices we make will greatly impact our emotional health as well as our ability to impact our culture. If we as Christians don’t know how to make our own decisions because they’ve always been made for us, the future of America will be led by those who do. On the other hand, if we have no guidance and are left to the culture, we will be just as lost as the rest of the world. This important area of our lives can teach us how to think carefully through big issues, navigate our culture, stand up for our beliefs, and turn to God for guidance.

The main point here is that every family and every INDIVIDUAL is different. Only God knows what the future holds for each blossoming adult. Teens and parents should make decisions together while seeking God’s direction, not just make arbitrary decisions based on the status quo of the peer group or the pre-conceived ideals of this important issue. Then, if they choose courtship, GREAT! If dating makes sense to them, AWESOME! If group dating is their choice, LOVELY! The most important thing is to examine the options together and to seek God’s guidance in this major life-impacting decision.

Monday, June 25, 2007


"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not disaster. to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

How many times have you heard this verse? Like 5 billllion! Ya I'm thinking so. But it really hasn't set in for me what it means, UNTIL I got asked if I wanted a college application.... I was like "what? uh? I'm not old enough for this! I'm just a kid!" Ya well as much as I wish that to be true sometimes....


I just turned 16, I can drive, have a car, go do what ever, and I'm like totally stoked! Then I start thinking that I'm going to have to do what I was saying I would do when I could drive... I have to find a job. Fun. It shouldn't be to bad, kinda nice to have something to do in the summer.. besides sports. So ya, I can grow up I can get a job and pay for my own stuff. OK cool I can deal with that.


Wow that one hit me. I mean I have known what I want to do with my "college life" and I truly can't wait to start..... but OMG! I have to keep my grades good now!?! lol So I'm like totally like wow I'm becoming an adult and that is totally cool! It's just a little scary not knowing if you are doing the right thing for you.... and.... doing what God wants you to do. Then at church camp (ya sorry I know I don't stop talking about it but it was really amaZing ok! lol ) they used the verse that I have up there and it's just like wow ok I don't need to stress about all this so much anymore. GOD has it under control. I have a power issue with God some times but let me tell ya what, it is soooo nice to have that kinda weight lifted off of you. I know it sounds totally weird but try reading this verse like 20 times and then tell God to do what he wants with your life and to direct you. Guys this is amaZing! Life is so much easer when you don't have to take care of everything!