This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Last Minute (God and Football)

My life has been full of last minute miricals. My Mom has always said that God likes to wait till the last minute so that we know know know that it is Him.


The same day that our house was going to be oxctioned away from us, our loan modification that we had been waiting on for a very long time finally came though.

My poor brother Stephen comes out of the shower in a towel one morning, still covered in bubbles a pertiulary large one right over his belly button. "Um, guys I think our water just got turned off." At first hearing this you could feel the mood of the room drop, then I started to laugh. We all just looked at Stephen and couldn't stop laughing. Poor a guy. Ha ha So headed to our lovely neighbor who laughed and told him to go get in her shower. By the time he got back one of my mom's friend showed up with just enough money for the water bill and a tank of gas for my car.

Seth is off in Utah and very broke hardly getting by financially, and his hocky stick breaks. These things are like $200.... But it just so happened that it was one the last day of his warenty.

Are you seeing a life pattern yet? I have a million more stories like this but stepping back, it's not that we don't have rough times, but that God always squeeks it out in the end...

Kinda like Tebow.

If you're the least bit a Bronco's fan you know that we have been down the last 5 games until the 4th. All the sudden Tebow gets on one knee and God some how squeaks it out in the end.

It makes me laugh thinking how many people would just give Tebow the credit if they just went out and won it from the get go. How many people do you think have even a little seed planted in them that there might be something more? Maybe something to this whole God thing when the guy stands there not sure how they managed it yet again. No other explanation except God. I know it sounds silly being this serious about football... But it's amazing when you think about it.

I just hope that one day I can hold on though all the bad enough that when I some how walk through the smoke triumphant, there will be no doubt in everyone's mind that it was God and not me. What a way to live.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Only Though Your Eyes

I've stretched,
To see each,
As you see.

To have kindness,
For anyone,
For anything.

To give support,
To anyone,
At anytime.

To see though,
Your loving eyes.
Each individual,
For everyone,
Except me.

Some how I don't believe,
Your love,
Your fogginess,
Your value,
Can reach me.

I've messed up,
I've hurt,
And been hurt.
I live in a world,
All my own.

I care for them,
For me.
Hoping just for a moment,
To be worthy,
To be valued.

So you see me?

I want value,
Only in you.
No earnings,
No games,
Just me.

Why can I see,
Them with your eyes?
Yet see in myself,
Only flaws?

An unpolished person,

Not yet worth value.

That can't be,
What you see!

If you see her,
As a flower.
See him,
As a rock.
What about me?

Define me,
As you see fit.
Not by my standards,
Only though your eyes.