This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Old boys.... Random

These are random poems that I never really finished... all written about a guy I dated. I never really finished any of them for a number of reasons. 1 I lost them and just found them in a random note book. lol 2 The relationship ended. 3 It hurts to much to finnish.
So here's a small look into my guys. :) (all of wich I still love as dear friends fyi )

Guys are sometimes rude,
Nearly always crude.
BUT, sometimes they can be totally sweet,
I mean having a guy look at you is really neat.
He's as cute as a bug,
When he gives you a hug.
But where are his eyes staring?
Dont you think that's a little daring?
But then he lightly touches your hand,
Oh the tingle down yor spine is so grand!
What does he say when you're not around?
Is he talking to his friends and putting you down?
When he says something to make you blush,
Your heart just turns to mush.
You give a long sigh,
With so much happiness how could one die?
But then you blink,
And so much faster than you think.
You grew up,
Almost as fast as filling a cup.
When you look deep in the core,
You know it just won't work anymore.
Then it's done,
Just as fast as it begun.
Lord take care of him,
Don't let his vission dim.
Let him live for you,
And for the girl he will some day marry too.

(okay I did kinda finish that one ;P lol)

Alone in the car,
Watching the world flash by.
Rain splish splashing,
I notice I'm smiling.
But why?

The song on the radio?
I listin closely
No, to depressing.
This smile is something bigger.

The rain drizzling down?
Beautiful in every way.
But that's not it,
This smile is something newer.

I'm smiling for you.

The twinkle in your eyes,
Your dorky smile,
The caring voice,
I miss you.

The way you poke fun,
Your artistic twist,
The helpless confidance,
I miss you.

The unique way of thinking,
Your beautiful words,
The smell telling me you're near,
I miss you.

The soft switch,
Your fingers poaking my ribs,
The fallowing puppy,
I miss you.

The way you held me,
Your arms pulling me close,
The sweet complaments,
I miss you.

The person I wanted to tell erything to,
You simply listin,
The person I wanted to know anything,
I miss you.

The way you put my arms around you,
Your soft gentel lips on mine,
The way you never let go,
I miss you.

I'm so screwed up!
I don't know what I think.
Fear and desire,
Twisted into one.

Yes then no,
Then yes again.
Make up your D*** mind!
How can you be this lost!?

Shame and guilt,
Over rides every emotion.
I'm so stupid!
All I can say.

I was wrong,
You don't know or understand,
So how could you care?

Not your fault,
you can't help it,
You just don't understand me.

I thought I'd found someone,
Who loved me for me,
Every part.

Things that make me smile,
Give you a frown.

Jealousy and Anger,
So important to you,
I hate them.

I've tried,
For days,
I've tried.

You brush me off,
Like an annoying fly,
Something you wish to leave you alone.

I just want to be there,
Can't always be in person,
Is that really required?

I hve to be in your arms,
For you to know,
I care.

My life bursting,
Bursting at the seams,
Held together by a thred.

Thought you knew,
Thought you understood,
Thought you cared.

You can't love,
What you don't understand,
That's me.

Praying to forget,
Praying for change,
Praying for reason.

Wishing to wake up,
From the nightmare,
One more day with out you.

Laying my head down,
Each night praying,
Waking up to you by my side.

Opening my eyes,
Each morning realizing,
The nightmare = reality.

Rolling out of bed,
Tears in my eyes,
Wondering how to live another day.


Stepping under the warm waterfall,
Rembering your smile,
Tears and water the same.


Reaching for clothes,
Pants, shirts, shoes,
Memories attached to each.


Sending the words,
Once brightened your day,
Eyes fill with liquid emotion.


Breathing deep,
Praying for strength,
Yet another day from hell.


Ears suddenly alert,
Hearing the wonderful words,
You Make Me Smile.