This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honer you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me. Continue if you dare ;)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Life?

Well I'm not sure if anyone besides my parents read this any more, but I figured it does no harm to keep saying what's on my mind :)

This week has been CRAZY... and not so much in a good way either.

If you're in Colorado you know that we have been getting random spurts of RAIN every day. I say RAIN because it's not been the "dancing in the rain romantic" rain. It's been the pulling down branches, soaked to the bone walking to the car, almost killing my poor baby apple tree kind of RAIN. Though not going to lie I did run with my family in the rain, saved that poor apple tree, and kissed my man out in the pouring rain. So there were some smiles in the storm.

Just like the rain, the bad news has been flooding in around me.

Tuesday- My first day back to work after the time off to go get David from Cali. I walk in and my Boss pulls me into her office. One of our most loved managers was in an almost fatal tubing accident over the weekend. She broke her face, jaw, has bleeding in her brain, and has been in stage 3 coma since then. There may be other things wrong but we haven't been aloud much info. Yesterday I was told that she is doing well and they're fixing her up as best they can while she's out and she is fighting hard so things are looking good.
This woman is the life of the store/salon. She will always keep anyone laughing no matter how bad our day was. She was the encouragement I needed though some hard times. I feel peace that she will come out of this, but it doesn't make it easy. Thanks to Alison we have bright flowers to put in our hair while she's not with us.

Wednesday- My family signed some scary important papers. In the long run it will help us a lot but it's been very hard process.

Thursday- My best friend Jennie had a heart breaking loss. Her 26 year old cousin Jeanen was 8 months pregnant with a mirical baby. The baby died. She went into sergry to take him out. It was scary. Everyone knew it was a risk. But she didn't make it. She and her baby are in heaven now. Her family is having a hard time with the loss of not one but two loved ones. I've done all I know to do to help but I know that only God and time will heal this.

Friday- A good friend texed me saying that their grandpa only had months to live.

This Tuesday- One of my clients had just gone to the funeral for the dad and daughter that got blown off the mountain while hiking.

The rest of the week was full of getting David settled, a family of 4 (our cousins) staying with us for the week, work being crazy, and God working though some hard things in some close friends. These are all good. But they all took lots of emotions and energy.

Comming home from work today I was listening to Klove and a lady called in with a prayer request. A family of 7 from their church had just died in a plane crash.

REALLY GOD?!!?!? CAN ANYONE ELSE DIE AROUND ME!? Life is so so special. I don't know how to handle all the pain around me. I just need to have a good cry. But being Sarah I don't know how to when everything is falling apart.

I am holding on to the promise of the RAINBOW after the rain. I know God has a plan for each person that was affected by each of these stories. Including me. I will praise him for that!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

I am His

Are you...
An outcast?
Ostrisized?
Laughed at?

Do you...
Have a story,
No one could,
Possibly understand?

ARe you...
Scarred by religion?
Rejected by friends?
Judged?

Do you...
Walk alone,
Wishing someone,
Would just hold your hand?

Yes?

Me Too.

I walk in a world,
Not aloud to show my colors,
Crushed by those around me.

My heart burns,
To have you see,
The truth I have found.

But the fire,
Is covered,
Contained at every turn.

Everyone aloud to speak,
Everyone, Anyone,
Except me.

One word,
And I am judged,
Rejected.

My heart full of Love,
Love that is strong,
Even when I'm not.

My fire burns with grace,
Acceptance of all,
Forgiveness surrounding.

Love and Grace.
Grace contagious,
Love healing.

Yet at every turn,
My heart hidden,
My fire qwinched.

Just like you,
I am rejeceted,
Made a joke of.

Who can understand?
Love in the raw,
Grace all incompacing.

To have something,
Something to hold on to,
Besides pride and hate.

I am hidden in the shadows,
Strong and silent,
Silent...

Silent no more!
Time to create,
My own unique shadow.

Relif and Joy,
My heart is coming out,
Not my story but His.

He shows me I am special,
I matter to Him,
I am Loved.

Who am I?

Judge as you will.

I am a child of Love.