This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Monday, January 28, 2008


This is for God Chasen' Chicks!!!! I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!! Your all beautiful!!! I love you!

Sometimes it seems my duty

To be a cute little beauty.

What could beauty be?

Sometimes I think it’s anything but me.

The world sees it as my perfect friend.

I try to see it as a passing trend.

High heels seem so cool

But my feet at the end of the day say I’m a fool.

Looking for dimples

All I see is pimples.

I want a flat tummy,

But the food looks so yummy.

Deeper and deeper I sink

Then I step back to think.

It’s not the hours we spend at the boutique,

It’s the small, individual things that make us unique.

I must stand up and let them see,

What a beautiful, amazing person God made me to be.

It took so long,

But now I can be strong.

For my life He has a plan,

I can’t make it happen, but He can.

No matter what they say,

It’s what He says at the end of the day.

Without a doubt,

I’m beautiful inside and out.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Breath of Fresh Air

Wow... that's about all I know how to say... but if that's all I said I don't think this would be a very good post.... lol so I guess I'll try to expand on that "wow".

No one could ever think that a trip that starts at 5 am could turn out any good, but it turned out to be pretty good. We finally get on the road about 7:30. I'm in a car with some of the goofyest guys ever.... they turn on a STUPID song and dance to it... ya they already knew the moves they made up... pretty sad, but it kept us laughing and set a good mood for the rest of the trip.

Getting up there was fun, Amber and I really got some help with our duo. We messed around and listened to music and stuff. It was all around a good day :)

We had this thing called host housing, some one there that we didn't know opened up their house to us and let us stay there for the tournament. I was really nervous about this, knowing the homeschool community I was afraid to offend some one but knowing me I was going to be my self no matter what. But I could not have asked for a better family! These people were amazing! When we got there we had a basket of snacks and water bottles and even electric blankets turned on, on our bed! Everything was clean and very amazingly decorated I must say. The family was so nice. God really blessed us through our stay there. I hope some time we can pay them back :)

The tournament started and I had to get up at like 5 am every day. it was exhausting. I guess I'll tell you the downers of it then go into the good stuff. Bad..... Not having my speech memorized to well, cattie girls, guys who think they know everything, judges, judgment, getting up early and going to bed late.

But there were some amazing things. I think that my speech about loving people was much better received that I ever thought. It is something that most people really need to hear but a lot don't like it (I'll post it after the season is over). So I was happy about that :) The duo was going really well and we were having fun. All of our debate teams were doing amazingly! Not meaning to brag but SALT owned! lol
And I made some awesome new friends!!!! I love it when that happends!

We came home with many trophy's. For the first time in my life I have a First place trophy for something that didn't involve doing the splits or hitting a ball. Amber and I got first place with our duo! I didn't think it could happen, we threw it together at the last min. Not to sound mean or anything.... but we beat 3 teams of people that I have really had a hard time trying to keep up with. This time I came out on top. I know it won't happen every time but I won (with amber of corse ;) ) I don't know if anyone can understand when I say I finaly found my place and I was reconized over my friends who are always on top. It was a total God thing.

On the car ride back it was ok, there was a little bit of drama and crap like that, but at the very end of the trip like the last 3 hours, I was in a car with 4 of my best friends, just us. It was starting to get dark and Zack and Ashley were playing the guitar in the back, Josiah... well just being josiah lol, and I layed down on jennies lap and she played with my hair. It was quiet except for the music. I could breath, I actually got a chance to hear myself think and read my Bible and devo book some. But for the most part I just lay there with my best friends around me. People who I had been longing to be with for a very long time. God was sitting right next to me I know. His presence toped it off. I never fell asleep even though I was dead tired ( ya I slept till 2 today lol) I was just there. I couldn't do any work cuz I was stuck in the car, I didn't have to take care of anyone because the people I was with could take care of themselves, it was sooooo amazing. I haven't been able to rest like that in a few years ( I kid you not).

Even if I didn't come back with a trophy, it would have been worth it just for those friends I made and the 3 hours I spent in the car just being.

Thank you lord for all your blessings!!!!