This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Saturday, August 17, 2013


Church tonight inspired a few thoughts I want to explore, however I think I really only have time for one tonight. I'm looking at a subject that plegues many young people (and old)... What do I do with my life? What does God want me to do with my life? How do I know this is right?

As Christians we many times strive to do the right things, pray about big desiccions, and do God's will. While in some situations God does make it painfully clear that this is right or wrong, with most things in life it's a toss up. If you have two options and neither are a sin, how do we know what to do?

My whole life I have been a big fan of this thing called "free will". It is the idea that the God who created us, chose to give us the ability and freedom to make our own choices (right or wrong) as we live life on this bazar earth. "Free will" has been and will always be a big debate with Christians. Many would say that there is no such thing as free will because God is omniscient and knows everything that we are going to do already, so who's to say that we are the ones actually making the choices? Honestly, I could be wrong about this, but after some resurch, many debates, and lots of prayer, I have found the best way to look at it is as a pre-recorded football game. God has seen who is on the field, who is passed to, what the play call is, and even the out come of the game. However, We are still the ones playing. That is the Sarah thought of it, take it or leave it.

So based on that, then what happens when you could go long praying for the touch down or kick the easy field goal? How do we make that call? The ball is in our hands. What will it be? We come to this place in life many times in our life. Everything from choosing what to eat for lunch, what job to take, where to go to school, what to study, where to live, to how open to be about our faith. Big things and little things often without a clear right/wrong choice. God is sitting up there knowing what we will choose so why on earth did He give us free will?!?! We can spend hours praying, nights weighing the pros and cons, days seeking wise councle, and still not have a clear play. So my question is, if God really wants us to seek His will in all things and we have turned our lives over to Him, "giving all control" as the songs say, then why doesn't he take it?! If he has a plan for our lives and knows what He would prefer us to do, then why doesn't He just make the decision for us? Or even not give us a decision in the first place? Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of free will, without it and the decisions in life what would be the use of taking to him and creating a stronger relationship with Him. He wants to be friends with us and have us come to Him with everything in life as we do with our best friends, family, or spouse. The differance being that David (my husband... HUSBAND! I can say that now!) is very blunt when I ask for his thoughts on something, often times he has an opinion and will tell me straight up what he thinks. Is it just me or do you feel like God rarely does that in the day to day life?

I'm sitting here stairing at the computer waiting for an answer to come to me. I find that if I ramble long enough I'll trip over the truth I've been looking for, but I'm having trouble with this one. I know the point of free will is to give us the opportunity to choose a relationship instead of just being walking robots, but when we are ASKING God to show us what is best, why doesn't he? The word I keep hearing in my head is "wait", "strength will rise as we wait upon the LORD", wait. Though I don't know if that is pertaining to the things I'm debating about in my own life, or if it's what God often says when there is no clear play, maybe the second we think we've figured it out and call the play, something will change and if we had just waited a little while longer there would be the obvious and perfect option. Well for tonight I think that's where I have landed, if it's not totally clear, keep doing what you're doing, thinking, talking, and praying. In God's perfect time He will reviel His perfect, game winning play.

If anyone older and wiser than me has thoughts, or even if you're thinking over the same things and have no idea what you think, lets talk about it. Let me know your thoughts!

I love you world! Goodnight!