This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honer you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me. Continue if you dare ;)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

~NEW START~

That was my friend,
She was the star.
I thought we'd be together to the end,
I copied her hair, clothes, and someday her car.

Now she is gone,
I'm at a loss.
Slowly it's starting to dawn,
Now she's not here who's the boss?

I look to see if anyone can give me the answer,
Who could it be?
It's not the debater, punk, or dancer,
It's me.

What are they thinking?
Who am I to be in the spot light?
Into what lie am I sinking?
No, The're looking at me, not tomorrow, tonight!

Oh what should I do?
How should I dress?
It scares me, this thing so new,
My head is spinning into a mess.

How can I be what they need?
Maybe giving them love hope and light.
I can leave behind a seed,
Giving just enough courage to stand and fight.

Learning when to be strong,
How to say no.
Learning when to move on,
How to let go.

Learning not to hand out hurt,
Not to give what I was delt.
Teaching the tine to stand up and assert,
So the dams just melt.

Life's rain, sun, sleet, or snow,
Each one gives something to learn.
Ever lesson helping us grow,
Lighting our hearts till they burn.

Leading them to the one to whom they can hold on,
The one to help them cope.
the only one that makes us strong,
So they can give others hope.

Leading to hope, joy, peace, and love,
Knowing how we all should live.
Following the pure white dove,
THIS IS ALL I CAN GIVE!

Monday, April 21, 2008

*Different*

You are tall,
He is short.
She is skinny,
You are not.

You have acne,
Her face glows.
He has hott clothes,
Your's are so last year.

You are shy,
She is at the center.
He has a beautiful girlfriend,
You can't seem to catch anyones eye.

You are different,
That's ok.
Why does it mater so much that we are not all the same?
It's what's on the inside that counts.

What God thinks about you is what matters,
You are beautiful in his eyes.
Even if you don't see it,
He does.

Drink in your life!
Be unique and different!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Black Eye

So for Seth's 15th birthday he chose to take me snowboarding for my gift to him. Some present hu?!?!?

Well as the day drew closer I was dreading it more and more! I was tiered! I was sooo out of shape! Didn't have time to play! But this is what my little brother wanted for his birthday.... and me being broke that was the best I could do... for now ;) So I went.

We ended up taking one of Seth and my best friends, Caleb.

We got there got our rentals... bla bla bla. I was a little more confedent than I should have been. "I'm a gymnast! I have good control of my body! Good ballance!" HAHAHAHAHA wow yes this is all true.... I thought I would start out on the bunny hill even though I felt stupid doing that, the fact that I had never been before made it make since.

I stood up ready to go...

I fell on my butt.

For the first of what would be COUNTLESS times that day. I was starting to fall every 10 feet rather than every 3, therefore Seth and Caleb decided that it was time I went on a green slope.

Needless to say by the time I got done with the day I had a swollen black eye ( I have always wanted one of those!! so cool! lol), black knees, hurt wrist, snow burned belly and back and arms, swollen cheek, and a very black butt! lol I even blacked out once.
Needless to say... for some one who is used to being the best when it comes to sports.... it was hard! though there were a few times that I was doing really well and it was fun to fly down a mountain.

But let me tell you, those two boys... amazing kids!

Ok so I'm going to make a weird analagy here.... I don't think any of them are God or anything!

But Seth was like God, he was the one that gave me the opportunity to do this and he was always there cheering me on.

Caleb was like Christ and the Holly Spirit. He was the one there every time I fell to pick me up (littarly some times! lol), to grab my hand and tell me I will make it through.

I went down 2 green slopes the whole day (plus the bunny hill like 10 times! lol) They were both there the whole time grabing me, making sure that I was ok, sometimes yelling at me to get back up and try again!

But after I was done, went home and got some sleep, I thought. Ya know I spent pretty much the whole day on my butt and it wasn't much fun, But at the end of the day my other brother who is really into skiing wanted to go with me beofore we left... at this point I could hardly move. But I pushed through for my little brother. Guys I got down the bunny hill only falling once!!!! a record! and I had fun!

The devil has been knocking me over a lot and God has been teaching me a lot these days, I have speent most of my time on my butt. Every once in a while I have an amazing day where I'm flying away from every hard thing and leaving it all behind... then I fall down again just as I think I'm getting the hang of it. The more I praticed the better I got.


God is putting us through boot camp people! Every thing that knocks you down will teach you how to stand up. Yes we have some good times too, try not to over think them! Enjoy the break and have fun!

Just know someday wether you see it or not, every time you chose to stand back up will affect some ones life and will help to win for the kingdom of God!

God isn't being mean, it's not that he doesn't care, it's that he loves us and has a plan for our life... that might take some traning.
So let him grab your hand and pull you up. Let him yell at you to get up and finish. he know's what he is doing :)