This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Black Eye

So for Seth's 15th birthday he chose to take me snowboarding for my gift to him. Some present hu?!?!?

Well as the day drew closer I was dreading it more and more! I was tiered! I was sooo out of shape! Didn't have time to play! But this is what my little brother wanted for his birthday.... and me being broke that was the best I could do... for now ;) So I went.

We ended up taking one of Seth and my best friends, Caleb.

We got there got our rentals... bla bla bla. I was a little more confedent than I should have been. "I'm a gymnast! I have good control of my body! Good ballance!" HAHAHAHAHA wow yes this is all true.... I thought I would start out on the bunny hill even though I felt stupid doing that, the fact that I had never been before made it make since.

I stood up ready to go...

I fell on my butt.

For the first of what would be COUNTLESS times that day. I was starting to fall every 10 feet rather than every 3, therefore Seth and Caleb decided that it was time I went on a green slope.

Needless to say by the time I got done with the day I had a swollen black eye ( I have always wanted one of those!! so cool! lol), black knees, hurt wrist, snow burned belly and back and arms, swollen cheek, and a very black butt! lol I even blacked out once.
Needless to say... for some one who is used to being the best when it comes to sports.... it was hard! though there were a few times that I was doing really well and it was fun to fly down a mountain.

But let me tell you, those two boys... amazing kids!

Ok so I'm going to make a weird analagy here.... I don't think any of them are God or anything!

But Seth was like God, he was the one that gave me the opportunity to do this and he was always there cheering me on.

Caleb was like Christ and the Holly Spirit. He was the one there every time I fell to pick me up (littarly some times! lol), to grab my hand and tell me I will make it through.

I went down 2 green slopes the whole day (plus the bunny hill like 10 times! lol) They were both there the whole time grabing me, making sure that I was ok, sometimes yelling at me to get back up and try again!

But after I was done, went home and got some sleep, I thought. Ya know I spent pretty much the whole day on my butt and it wasn't much fun, But at the end of the day my other brother who is really into skiing wanted to go with me beofore we left... at this point I could hardly move. But I pushed through for my little brother. Guys I got down the bunny hill only falling once!!!! a record! and I had fun!

The devil has been knocking me over a lot and God has been teaching me a lot these days, I have speent most of my time on my butt. Every once in a while I have an amazing day where I'm flying away from every hard thing and leaving it all behind... then I fall down again just as I think I'm getting the hang of it. The more I praticed the better I got.

God is putting us through boot camp people! Every thing that knocks you down will teach you how to stand up. Yes we have some good times too, try not to over think them! Enjoy the break and have fun!

Just know someday wether you see it or not, every time you chose to stand back up will affect some ones life and will help to win for the kingdom of God!

God isn't being mean, it's not that he doesn't care, it's that he loves us and has a plan for our life... that might take some traning.
So let him grab your hand and pull you up. Let him yell at you to get up and finish. he know's what he is doing :)


Kiki said...

that was what i needed. we went to a competition for fine arts. we ende up winning but not after my shoe flying through the air and barely missing the judge. everyone was mad @ me b/c you r not supposed to remove any clothing or you would get points off. well shawn was yelling and everybody else was okay with it they were sympathetic and shawn was yelling and telling me that we were going to lose b/c of it. well i started crying and felt like crap b/c it was my first year and i was scared and already felt like crap and really could have done better without his yelling at me. as it ends up i barfed my brains out the entire weekend and when it came time for them to anounce the winners i felt like i was going to lose my breakfast and/or yell at shawn. b4 we went in the room for them to say who won each catagory shawn was being very snooty towards me like if we did lose he was never going to speak to me again, which was fine with me b/c i felt like slapping him. he reminded me of a preppy whose boyfriend just got stolen and who is having her period. i was so angry. it turns out that we win for our catagory with the highest points! we get to go to nationals and everyone was happy. shawn was still mad and i just know on sunday he is going to comment on the judges sheets that we recieved last night. i am pretty sure that i am going to blow up in his face and tell him to let it go and stop acting like a two year old! i hate guys when they think that you have wronged them. besides that i had a wonderful time barfing everywhere and enjoyed everying about the toilets they had there since that is mainly the most of anything i ever saw that weekend. and this guy held my hand and made me feel like a princess the whole weekend... jesus was my boyfriend and comfortor the whole time and i know that he is working in my sickness and sleep loss.

♥Sarah♥ said...

Wow... I'm really sorry! that's so hard! BUt I'm sooooo proud of you!!! your going to nationals!
Don't let shawn get to you, there will always be some one there to bring you down.... don't let it take away your joy! every one messes up sometimes! it's ok! and he'll get over it some day!
love you!