This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Out of Your Own world

Am I the only one left?
That knows not to put it there.
The only one with clean wrists?
The logic that over rides the emotion.

How much more can I take?!
Every week someone new.
What is the reason?!
Some bad and some good.

It's become more than a drug.
Now spreading like a new fad.
A mental disses.
An epidemic.

You think you're unique?
You assume this makes you different?
You're wrong.
You're just following the crowd.

I thought you wanted to stand apart?
Someone who shines for others?
You can't.
Everyone is falling in the same dark shadow.

You caught his eye,
Yes it is true.
But honestly what good will it do?
Because of this he will never date you.

You got a valentine,
She got a song.
She always has flowers ,
While the rest of us are left dry.

You're not loved now,
Because of this.
You were before,
For just being you.

Open your eyes a crack,
Look outside the world of you.
How it pains those around you,
Mom, Dad, Friends, Little sister, Me.

I know a better way,
Why can't you see?
This will never solve anything!
You're just making a mess!

You can never be you,
While you're under the blanket.
Never lead with a light,
Only with darkness and dispare.

One, Two, Ten, Thirty!
We're all around you fighting and ready to win!
We can't do it alone!
You have to help us out!

Put down the knife,
Pick up your sward!
Stand up for yourself,
For your life!

You know it will have to be done,
Why not now?
You have a whole life to live,
Yet you waist it away in missury.

Give it to God!
He will always love you!
Unlike your parents, friends, and boys!
You are precious to him!


Saturday, February 14, 2009

S.A.D Day


I HATE Valentines Day. Like really, mega, hate. Not only because I have never had a guy on that day (tho I'm sure that has something to do with it... ), but because it is just a stupid day where the poor guys are expected to do something special and unique for their girl. Honestly when I have a guy I want him to be able to think of that stuff on his own and not have to have a day to remind him... then again guys do need reminders. lol. I have just never liked the holiday and see it as a wast of time. Who knows I might feel different someday. But as of now I'm with all the people that just feel alone every year.

But this year was different. No I still don't have a guy. And yes that does kinda suck.

I worked all day and at work we gave out special Valentine treats to everyone. It was so much fun being able to see the look on their face and how it just made some peoples day worth being there even. I was in a not so good mood at 8:30 am until the energy drink kicked in... I got a little more happy and that rubbed off on the people around me and it was one of those domino effects... all the sudden I wasn't thinking about me any more, I was thinking about how I could make others day better. I tried to keep that mind set and it worked most of the day.

I got a Valentine from the sunshine of my life, Amanda, and it said at the top..... " A good leader is like a candle, it consumes it's self to light the way for others."

This is what I have done all my life, burned up so others might see better, While I have to learn where the boundries are I'm always happier when I can make others more happy by just the little things...

Something else, I spent last night with my best guy friends... we sat around and talked and it was amazing... I thought , ya know I wouldn't trade a single one of these guys for a boyfriend. It's not who we date when we are young it's the friends we have made. So why do we obses over it! Sigh! Who knows! lol

Well Happy V/ SAD Day!