Prayernessstuffya....
This morning was total crap! I got up had a fight with my parents, I was soooo mad and stuff that Seth... yes this is MY BROTHER SETH.... like the one that beats me up... lol anyway he gave me a real hug!!! lol For those of you who know how Seth and I are (we love each other and show it by hitting or mouthing off to each other) you know that's pretty much amazing!
So I go to church and I pretty much yell at God the whole service. Our paster talked about having people that you could talk to and having people that are always there for you and being there for others. Also, how God is always there..... ya I had 2 of my best friends EVER on ether side of me and I don't know if I have a pride issue... or what because I couldn't admit to them that I just needed a friend to give me a hug and maybe even cry with me (yes Sarah does cry.... sometimes lol). And I'm yelling at God because he made me this way. Because he wasn't there for me, ever since I got back from camp it seems like I got so close with God there that when I I came back, and when you don't feel him any more you just feel sooooo empty. I felt like God didn't care.... You know I have been told time after time that I have a strong faith, and I think I finally fingered out why, I work sooooooo hard to have faith when it really seems that God isn't there, which is pretty much all the time for most of my life.
So this so called "strong faith" was hanging on by a thread and I was so about to get a pair of siccors, cut it and be done! Unless God could prove to me some how that he was there. You know I had to put a good face on because I was around people all day (one of my friends did know what had happened and was there for me and golly I love her for it!)
I get home and get a call from a friend from camp and his best friend had just became a Christan! This is like totally and answer to prayer, almost every night right before I go to sleep I try to pray for what ever comes to my mind first. All most every night I prayed for this guy to come to know God. AND GUYS! IT HAPPENED!!!!! I felt like crying with happiness when I heard that this had happened! This was an answer to many peoples prayer.... and it was just what I needed to put the siccors down and not cut the thread keeping God and me together. I see that as 2 miracls in 1!
Thank God!
So I go to church and I pretty much yell at God the whole service. Our paster talked about having people that you could talk to and having people that are always there for you and being there for others. Also, how God is always there..... ya I had 2 of my best friends EVER on ether side of me and I don't know if I have a pride issue... or what because I couldn't admit to them that I just needed a friend to give me a hug and maybe even cry with me (yes Sarah does cry.... sometimes lol). And I'm yelling at God because he made me this way. Because he wasn't there for me, ever since I got back from camp it seems like I got so close with God there that when I I came back, and when you don't feel him any more you just feel sooooo empty. I felt like God didn't care.... You know I have been told time after time that I have a strong faith, and I think I finally fingered out why, I work sooooooo hard to have faith when it really seems that God isn't there, which is pretty much all the time for most of my life.
So this so called "strong faith" was hanging on by a thread and I was so about to get a pair of siccors, cut it and be done! Unless God could prove to me some how that he was there. You know I had to put a good face on because I was around people all day (one of my friends did know what had happened and was there for me and golly I love her for it!)
I get home and get a call from a friend from camp and his best friend had just became a Christan! This is like totally and answer to prayer, almost every night right before I go to sleep I try to pray for what ever comes to my mind first. All most every night I prayed for this guy to come to know God. AND GUYS! IT HAPPENED!!!!! I felt like crying with happiness when I heard that this had happened! This was an answer to many peoples prayer.... and it was just what I needed to put the siccors down and not cut the thread keeping God and me together. I see that as 2 miracls in 1!
Thank God!
Comments
i understand about not feeling His presence sometimes, but that's where our faith comes in. He's always in us and around us, watching over us and protecting us. great post.