This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honer you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me. Continue if you dare ;)

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Trapped

Swrelling around in my head.
needles poking, nails driving.
Knife of sorrow to the heart.

Confusion billowing.
searching for truth.
Begging for joy.

Lost in the cloud.
Drowning in uncertainties.
Sinking to hopelessness.

Fighting against nourishment.
Wishing for the ideal.
Always wanting... never satisfied.

Love here, gone, then back again.
Soft surrounding security.
Two languages to speak.

Iron wall like a damn.
Punching, yet not a dent.
Trapped by the one with the key.

Emptiness is all that's felt.
Loud silence is all that's heard.
Darkness is all that's seen.

Annoying buzz.
Chilling breeze.
Space is the only thing near.

Beams of joyful hope.
A day, a night, a moment.
Covered by storm clouds.

No way to let go.
No way to move on.
No way to get out.

Stuck.
Unmoving.
Trapped.

3 comments:

Paula said...

It always makes me sad to read the painful poems. But at the same time I'm amazed by your ability to express yourself and I'm so glad you have an outlet for the times you're hurting.

I totally believe in you, Sarah and I know that today's disappointments will eventually be replaced with tomorrow's joys. Life is like that--good and bad, back and forth and often both at once. But through it all don't ever forget that you are adored by God, your family, and a whole bevy of friends. You are beautiful.

Amber said...

I could tell once I read this that again you may be facing another hard time in your life. It reminded me of a quote I found the other day: “God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

Sarah, you are one of the strongest people I know, and I say that truthfully. The part of the poem where you say there's no way out, no way to move on toward the end, is only an illusion. That's how it may feel, but knowing how stubborn and strong you are, you'll get out at the right time. There's a time for everything, and even if the time to move on isn't as close as wanted, the day will come. That is a guarantee. I love you! Way more than you know, and I wish I had more ways of sharing it. ;D ♥

Phoebe said...

Sarah, This poem touched my heart. I have been there, and I understand how it feels. I just wanted to let you know, that this will not last forever. Somebody once showed me that there are seasons for everything. But one thing that I must remember is that every season must end. A verse with this would be Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
I am praying for you, and remember, there are many people who love you dearly.