Every time I think I'm done it's back,
As if I was running on a track.
Far away I think I'm done,
Looking up only to see that I have more to run.
Wanting to jump the circle... round and round,
Yet there is something keeping me bound.
Begging till I'm emotionally dead,
God why can't I cut the thread!?
Whatever it is in which I'm stuck,
The place where I'm out of luck.
Not knowing wheat I'm supposed to learn,
Where emotions and pain sear and burn.
Memories everywhere I go,
Ice cream, stores, or a show.
Each flash back stabbing and hurting,
Pulling me back to when life was about enjoying.
Back to where I started,
To that night we parted.
Each one full of meaning.
Not sure what to do with emotion,
Easy just to shut it in a tin.
Binding it tight so no one sees my need,
Holding the wound so no one can see it bleed.
This is where I am,
No longer telling you I can.
No longer in a circle, but straight in line I'll go,
Some day, even to me the pain will no longer show.
May that day come fast,
And for a long while last.
Filling me from above,
With hope and love.