This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

No car!

April 7, 2010
A guy in a truck ran a red light as I was turning left across his lane. I saw him at the last second and so I sped up. Thank God. He hit only the part of my car behind the back tire on the drivers side.The frame of the car was pushed off so much that my car was totaled. I was able to keep in in control and pulled off into a gas station where a cop just happened to be sitting. He didn't see the lights or the actual impact but it made me feel so much better to know he was right there.

Turns out the guy didn't have insurance and since they said it was his fault I should have gotten a butt load of money for a new car and a free rental until I could get a car. Instead my insurance covered it... and by covered it I mean they gave me $580 for my car... not exactly enough to get a new car.

Ya. God had some other things in mind... My family has had one car ever since then. Six people who all have insane lives to keep up with and Seth's surgeries. It's been a crazy journey. But Let me share what I've learned.

1* I can't just live life doing my own thing on my plan... 5 other people in my house need the same car I do. Every time I want or need to do something I have to see if I have the car. I can't just up and go I have to think of the needs around me.

2* Killed some pride issues I have... I HATE asking people or help weather it's emotionally, physically, financially, or any other way! lol A. It's stressful not having a car, I'm a little more on edge and need more emotional support B. I have to ask people to take me EVERYWHERE, whether to a friends house or to school or work. C. GAS=$$$$$ so while I've paid people gas money I know they have still spent that money on driving me around... So all those things are really a blow to the ego.. I've known I need to be humbled for a while and maybe this was God's answer to that prayer to be humbled! It worked for sure! Though I have a ways to go I'm sure.

3* As stupid as it is I don't have a car to drive to lunch in at school. If you have been keeping up with this blog at all you know by now that I don't have many friends at school and don't really fit in. I'm well liked and everything but there for a while I for sure didn't have any lunch buddies. Because I like food, that has had to change. lol So I have ended up asking random people if I can tag along to make a lunch run. I've seen that I need to exted myself more and people will open up to me more. I went to lunch with two girls the other day that I never would have if I had had a car... guess what? It was fun! lol So not having a car has made the last few months of beauty school almost enjoyable. :)

4* My family is very very loved! We have had two or three families going out of town and letting us borrow a car! While Seth and I can't drive them because we are under 21 it has been a huge blessing to my parents and to free up our van for us :) It's amazing to see who all has your back when it really comes down to it! So thank you all!

5* Patience. Trust.
Two things I'm really not good at! I have always though I was a patient person. Always thought I didn't get truely angry easy either... But after Two months of hearing "it should be done tomorrow" or "I'll have it to you by friday" or "got the wrong parts again"... I'm freaking DONE! I don't think I've ever had to try to hold my temper this much.. like every time I think about it! sigh. And trusting that God knows what he is doing and if I was supposed to have a car right now I would. Obviously he had a few things to teach me. lol

Well praying I'll have it by the end of this weekend... But not holding my breath ;) I'll let you know though!

1 comment:

Paula said...

It sounds like there's been profit in this very long hard period of no car. Thank you for turning the awful into good.