Broken Love

Holding a bag, Carrying my shattered heart. Tied tight, Securely hidden. Only ones with eyes, See the lump concealed by my breast. A chance, To see ME. Broken. Late in the dark, Peaking into the bag. Mourning the broken shards, That used to be my heart. Tall, big, scary, man, Walking slowly into the light. Staring at me, Reaching to me. I turn and run, Fast not far. Fear grips me, I've dropped the bag. My heart, Gone forever. In the hands, Of a stranger. I stop and turn, Terrified at what I'll see. Horror and shock, Grip my every being. He sits down, Gently picking up the pieces. Pulling from his pocket, A needle and golden thread. Stitching with care, Even the smallest shards back together. Standing he hands me my heart, Whole and beautiful. Eyes so kind, forgiving, loving, The eyes of my Maker. Held in the arms of my Savior, Peace at last.

You place them in my life. Weak, Hurting, Confused. I point them to you. Strength, Life, Joy. Then like a conveyor belt, They're gone and moved on. I've done my job, Fixing the broken pieces. They skip on with life. All the time, A smile on my face. Fingers torn and sore, Heart ripped in two. Exhausted and hurting. Looking for any to heal, Perhaps one I helped. A kind soul to mend, The messy pieces of my heart. No One. All gone, All happy, All alone. You teach me, To teach them. How do I learn? You help me, To help them, Where is my help? You comfort me, To comfort them. Where is my hug? Pain so raw, So real. Tears flow like rain, A thunderstorm. Afraid to find, Hope, Joy, or Love. Fear of fixing, Of disappearing. Lost, alone, shaking, crying, scared, hurting..... DARK

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream A war is already waged for my destiny But You've already won the battle And You've got great plans for me Though I can't always see, 'cause... I got a couple dents in my fender Got a couple rips in my jeans Try to fit the pieces together But perfection is my enemy And on my own I'm so clumsy But on Your shoulders I can see I'm free to be me When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out See my life will turn out right And I'll make it here somehow But things don't always come that easy And sometimes I would doubt, 'cause... I got a couple dents in my fender Got a couple rips in my jeans Try to fit the pieces together But perfection is my enemy And on my own I'm so clumsy But on Your shoulders I can see I'm free to be me And you're free to be you Sometimes I believe That I can do anything Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring But You look at my heart and y...

God does some weird things. Sometimes we need to step back and then take a step to fallow him in trust and faith. There you go. That sums up my life right about now! lol Well I'm going to Beauty school now. I thought I was going there to learn to make people look good and feel good about themselves. Okay ya but there is so much more to it than that! At school about half of the people I'm with and talking to all day work night jobs and "gentleman's clubs". Most of the girls are already moms. Most of them no older than me. So so much pain. So much gossip. So much hiding. Hurt. Lost. Confused. Searching. I know now that God has placed me there to be a light. Maybe I'll never get to be a "witness" to any of them but I can live in light and not judge and love them all... sometimes that's the best we can do. Though if God opens the door I'll jump and do a handspring (gymnast at heart still!) through and give it my all. These girls are all trying to...

So this is the last I'm going to do on the whole guys/girls thing. I mostly want to bring it back to the main point. My almost-brother Kyle reminded me that some some times guys like it when girls do some of the little "annoying" things I have been talking about. Though a lot of the time it's when you're already dating the guy when they like these things. My boyfriend loves getting off work to 10 random texts about whatever comes to mind when we aren't talking.... or so he says... lol ;) All I'm going to say is play it by ear. There is a guy out there for each of you and you don't need to play games to get him. If he is the right one he will love you for you :) all this was for is to maybe open some minds to how guys think a little more. So ladies! You have some ideas. You are figuring out who YOU are. You are learning who God made YOU. Go out there with confidance and have fun!... Okay not TOO much ;)

What the guys said! "We can't read minds!" "How am I supposed to tell what you're thinking if you don't tell me?" "How would I know? You never said that." Ladies, the guys will be the first to admit that they can't read us! We often think, hey maybe I could drop a hint here, or maybe I'll kinda say what I mean and make him figure it out. Ya sorry guys are stupid when it comes to us, though we girls could use some help on learning about guys too. lol But we blame them for messing up all the time when they don't really even know what the heck we want! It's not fair to play games or drop hints. If by some mirical they pick up on a hit you drop it will most likely be taken the wrong way. lol So don't even risk it with something important. Guys like black and white. That's what they understand. Weather it's about if you like him or not, or what you guys are going to do today, or that you want him to buy you flowers, or s...

What the guys said! "When girls talk about random nothings for hours at a time." "Gossip" "Calling other girls sluts beause they are prettier or have a better body than you" Pretty much in the words of Peter Pan "Girls talk to much!" Part 1. Randomly Talking An old proverb once said, "Do not speak unless you can improve the silence." I am a girl, I know how our minds work. Shiny! Sun! Hockey! Hair! Boys! Jump! Email! Flying! Time! Boys! Text! Bunny! Clouds! Ya.... guys don't laugh that took me about 10 seconds to come up with, its just how we think. Girls here is a test, have a guy read those random thoughts I garentee that all they will say is "wow" or "what the heck is she on?" lol Guys don't think this way, and it drives them crazy in abut 3 minutes. Going back to the last blog, unless you have something to say, in the words of Josiah, "You're prettier when you don't talk." Part 2. Goss...