This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honer you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me. Continue if you dare ;)

Monday, July 16, 2012

Wounded

Well since no one reads this any more I fee like I can be totally honest. I'm falling apart. I don't know what to do. I'm going through life more and more alone every day. I'm just trying to hold everyone together. Best friend is getting married, there is always drama that comes with a wedding. My other best friend I'm pretty sure just hates me and I don't know how to even start repairing our friendship. My mom was in two accidents in the past six months and is far from herself. I just got engaged and my family has no money, but everyone is planning a big wedding anyways. I never see my Fiancee except when he comes home from work just long enough to kiss me before he crashes. I feel so so far away from God and I feel guily every time I talk to him and I know that feeling is not from him but from the Devil but I'm not strong enough to fight it alone, and everyone else is to busy to help. I'm just so alone and breaking.

4 comments:

Shepway Writers said...

Oh dear Sarah.. You're finding out that life isn't easy. Sounds like you've got 2 choices; cope, or go under.
I think, reading beneath your words that you're stronger than you think. Maybe your religion will help. Maybe not. Either way, what happens in your life will be entirely up to you. You're too young for wisdom, so think carefully before taking action.
If you have a grandparent, talk to him or her. Their wisdom can help.
Harry.
By the way. I suggest you read, TO THE EDGE OF THE SKY by ANHUA GAO. That's a lady who REALLY had problems! I might help you put things into perspective.

beforethelightisout said...

I will not minimize your pain by telling you to put it into perspective. All pain is relative. My heart goes out to you. If it helps in a small way, I tell my daughter and myself to remember that the painful feelings are like a dark storm cloud passing over the sun. The sun is still there even if you can't see it or feel it's warmth. One thing you can always count on is change and the sun will be bright and warm again even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

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