This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Am I Sounding Selfish?... ya human! but ya! it's My Turn!

For the last 5 or 6 years of my life I felt that it would never be my turn.

It would never be my turn to be in charge
It would never by my turn to have people copy the way I dress
It would never be my turn to have people follow my example
It would never be my turn to be up on stage as much or more than my "smart friends"
It would never be my turn to have the boyfriend that every other girl wanted

When I teacher would leave the room for five min they would always ask Jen or Ash to be in charge.... When ever a protect was needing done someone else would always be in charge of seeing that it got done the right way.
Now I'm the one that is in charge when the teacher isn't there, I'm the one that is helping make sure the yearbook is done the right way.

All my life whatever Lindsey and Jennie would wear that's what I begged my mom to buy. Bell bottoms, t-shirts with funny sayings, pretty clips, black high hill boots, hoddies, dresses, skirts, EVERYTHING!
Now I'm not only putting on whatever I feel like I often times see others picking up on what I'm doing........ now I'm deffintally encouraging any one reading this to have their own style! Don't copy any one just because you see them as "cool". Be unique. Be who God made YOU to be.
I'm just saying that the drastic change from 4 years ago and now... is very cool.

Whatever my friends did I wanted to do too. I would follow them with out a second thought some times. Play the games, watch the movies, do the bible study, be in the play, learn some music.
Now I'm holding that influence with many of the younger students in the school and anyone else around me, what if they are following me without a second thought? I just hope that I can be a good influence in someones life... even if in a small way.

Josh, Jeff, Jennie, Lindsey, Ashley, and a lot others ALWAYS are getting publicly recognized for one thing or another.... Getting their name called up on stage all the time... yes I have to say i have been a little jealous... I do behind the scenes stuff... and they were the ones on stage getting all the awards. This last share fair... I got 13 awards..... and I could be wrong but i think that's more than anyone else! Yes pride I know, but I think it was finally my time!

Yes.... I have a boyfriend. Let me just say that the second he broke up with his girlfriend of like 5 years about a year ago.... like every girl I know was all over him. Yes I liked him to but the timing didn't work. I have sat back and seen my friends go through guys and being left behind.... but now I have the most awesome guy.... and I do feel kinda bad that some of my friends happen to have a crush on him.... but hey who can blame them! So ya!

So I guess the point of this blog is just to say to everyone out there that feels like they will never be on top, never get the spot light, have the perfect boyfriend, be put in charge, or have people follow you... THERE IS HOPE! Just give it time.... God knows what he is doing.... But when you finally get a chance to be on top.... weather it is tomorrow or in 30 years..... God will use it and don't be afraid to enjoy it.

So ya!


Phoebe said...

Wow, Sarah, I'm so happy for you. This really encouraged me. It just goes to show, that NOBODY is a nobody. Luv ya!


♥Sarah♥ said...


*~*~*Gothic*~*~* said...

Sarah! I luv you!

I just want you to know that your the person I always looked up to, since the minuet I entered FACE, I was a little shy at first b/c you hung out w/all the older kids and I Thought I was the nobody!
But dont feel presure b/c u've ALWAYS been a great role model!
(p.s. I always wanted to copie UR clothes lol)

But I love you and even though ur going to be a senior next year *tear* I look forward to the little bit of high-school left that I have to follow your lead!


Julie said...

Sarah, I am a new friend of your mom's.

I just read your post on her blog and wanted to drop in and say thank you.

The hard thing is knowing what to say sometimes, when your teenagers/adult daughters come to you for advice. I appreciate the way you presented how your mom helps you. Sometimes I do that and sometimes I don't. It really helps to see things from a teenager's eyes..

Bless you,
Julie - my teenagers' friends call me "Mrs. T."