This is a place of ME. This is a place where I will let the walls down and be honest. Joys and stories or tears and heartbreaks, they will all be here. Devotionals to poems, my heart is open to you. I will love well. I will love you and honor you by allowing you into my brokenness and the truth that God has reviled to me. This is a place of Me.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Jennie & Ashley

This picture has to be like 2-3 years old or something!
This is Jennie. I have known her for like 13 years... She is graduating this year... she is my big sister... She is my role model... She is beautiful inside out... I love her to death!!!

When I was little people used to think that Jennie and I were sisters.... we loved fooling people and laughing about it... but we are both crapy lairs because we would burst out laughing. We were both short and believe it or not I was WAY shorter than she was till I was about 14. Our hair was the same color...that no one else had! we called it Harvest... lol and at one point it matched the gold lettering on the Bible. Our hair changed colors at the same times through out the years.... till a couple years ago when we both decided to dye our hair random colors at random times!
I used to spend days at their house with sleepover and birthday parties... it was a happy place for me! We were in a dance class together and because my parents were working some I would go to their house either the night before or the morning of our dance recitles. We would do school all day sitting at their kitchen table and drinking hot chocolate :) Then we would have mac and cheese (the box stuff!!) and watch I love Lucy.

There are tones of memories that I could go on on on on and on about but to sum it up this year Jen and I (because of our mothers) neither ones had a second hour class at school, so we went and got some starbucks when ever we got the chance.... We got much closer... Jen is just one of those people that you can open up to. She doesn't just focus on her problems she asks for help and someone to listen then turns around and asks you how you are. Do you have any idea how rare that is in my life! lol After about the second time talking over coffee we both felt like God was saying that we needed to keep each other accountable. Now we both have one more person that truly understands. Jennie is one of the smartest 18 year old girls I know! She loves God with all her heart and it shines from the inside.

This year... June 7, 2008 is going to be a really hard day for me. I'm turning 17 that day.... that's good cuz then I can drive whoever I want! lol But it is really hard because some of my best friends are going to be graduating that day. There are 2 people that I'm having a really hard time letting go of, Jennie and Ashley. Weather or not we have talked over the years we have always been "best friends". They are both almost two years older than I am so I have looked up to them and followed what they did. Although, once they got into high school it was harder... I wasn't ready to grow up that fast. Then guys came into the picture and we just weren't as close. But through all that time we could always go to each other and get a hug during a bad day. We knew we would always be there for each other even if we didn't really hang out or talk for weeks at a time. This past year some of the drama at school cooled down and we became better friends again as well as "leaders of the school" as Miss Maggie would put it. :o)

....Now I hate the phone and talking on it.. idk why... but I have spent some time talking to both of them when we were going through hard times. Yes hours on the phone.... or even just a text checking up on each other. weather or not they know, I could not have made it out of my depression last year with out their help. I'm about ready to cry just thinking about my last year with out them. But I know that if I'm about ready to die they will only be a phone call or a 10 min drive away... even if they are going to go get brilliant at collage with out me. They will always be there and I love them forever.

When I was little I used to ask God to give me a sister... and now that I'm older I know that 1. I would like shoot another girl in the house.... and 2. I already had them. Ash and Jen. They have been the best older sisters anyone could ask for and God knew just what he was doing when he gave me those sisters. So today about 2 weeks before graduation I just wanted to put down some of the cool things... and just share my relationship with them... so if you are a compleetly blind stupid person that can't see... or just don't know them, you can get a glimpse of what amazing women these are.

This is Ashley. Us being stupid at prom this year dancing (not for the last time) to our "love song".
I have known her for about 13 years. She is graduating this year. She is my special red head. She is my encourager. She is my sister.

Wow Ashley dear. Yes my little red head. This year Ash did a speech on red heads, it was very smart and did well in competition. The last point in her speech was about the stario types we place on red heads. At one point she says that her friends used to tease her and just wait to see how mad she would get..... Man was this true!!!!!
When I was little every time Ash came over I would ask if I could braid her hair and we could watch Anne of Green Gables.... The classic red head story... She would get so mad at me and I would laugh.... Though looking back... I WAS A BRAT! But she learned to love her hair as much as the rest of us. Part of that I think is that when we would go every Friday for swim lessons we would play mermaids... guess who always got to be Ariel... Ashie Pooh (yes I'm like the only person that can call her that ;D )

We would stay up for hours playing the game MASH-O to see who we would marry. Ashley however was the most sinceable of us all saying that we were too young and needed to live life before we got married.... she said this at the age of 8. lol She was always the tom-boy right along side of me, always willing to play in the mud or water when other girls would sit back and not get their pink flower skirts dirty. I could go on and on about when we were young.... but that's not what you need to know about her.

Though we didn't really know how to relate over the past few years we always were feeling the same things at the same time and yet would never talk about it. We were the tough girls in bible study, the ones who never cried, who never broke down with deep dark secrets. But this past year the understanding of each other finally made us both feel safe to share emotion with the other everything from school to parents to clothes to friends to boys.... yes the anti MASH girl has found her spot for guys! Together we have discovered that it's kinda nice to let the guys lift stuff, open doors, and just be there to protect... even though when the guys aren't around (or if they are just being lazy... ;P) we are still the ones to pick up the slack and do it our selves. This is a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a friend to hug. At the last dance we went to they played the seniors song for graduation.... after Ash and I danced to it we just hugged.... like I was about ready to cry!
One last story... She and I went to the mall to get a birthday present for some one and we went there and got what we wanted.... then we were done.... nothing to do... and it had been about ten min. Ashley dear and I don't do shopping to well.... Just not one of those things... but neither of us wanted to go home.... we thought we would walk around for a few min... next thing we knew we had been there for four hours! Trying on stupid clothes and talking about boys! amazing I know!
She is my sister and my support system. I love her!


Amber said...

That sums it up. I am so glad you did this. They deserve it, 100%! Although I am related to Ashley, and it's against my "sisterly duty" to say this, but everything you said was so true! And the really cool thing about these two girls, is that they acheived practically everything on their own! I am so proud of both of them. Even by me, they will be sorely missed, but my love and others love for them will stay as long as possible! That is a guarantee. ;D

Josh said...

Awww. I wuv my bestest friends. :) We're gonna miss Ashley and Jennie when they graduate.

*~*~*Gothic*~*~* said...

Sarah! You almost made me cry! Thanx Alot! lol but no what you said is really true, but thinking about you turning 17 is sad too! I will miss u SO much when u graduate! quit getting older!
I luv Ash and Jennie!
We will all miss them!

♥Sarah♥ said...

Ya AMEN GUYS!!!!! I'm going to miss them! it's really sad! and josh... it's you and me next year pall.... Sigh. lol

Paula said...

I ache with you each time I read this. God is so good to give you such amazing friends with such beautiful hearts. I didn't comment when you first posted this--it was just too hard. But I, too, love these young women and I'm very grateful for the positive impact they've had on your life. You're a smart girl, sweetie, and have always been wise in who you chose to really give your heart to. I'm glad Ashley and Jennie were two you chose because they have been trustworthy. Thank you for voicing so much we're all feeling about this year's transition.

Phoebe said...

Why do I have to be so new, so late? I am so happy that ou have been blessed with such amazing friends like these two. I just wish that God could have blessed me earlier with girlfriends, like I have now. ;)

I'll miis everybody when they grad this year. And I can't wait to get to know everybody else, the better.

♥Sarah♥ said...

Ya I thank God for them like everyday. :)
That has to be hard.... I'm sorry... just rember that God has timing for everything and he knows what he is doing.