Broken Love

My mom has been reading Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis (amazing books!) to my little brothers... yes anytime I hear her reading I go curle up (with my phone for texting of course;D ) and listen. Now I know the Narnia stories in side and out..... but I haven't had time recently to read them again. So since I'm a good bit older than I was last time I'm starting to catch some of the spiritual metaphors that I wasn't seeing when I was younger. One of the things I finally understood that always confused me before was when Lucy finally saw Aslan the lion again she comments that he has grown. Now this didn't make since to me.... When we grow things tend to look smaller.... But Aslan said to her, "Every year you get older I get bigger". Now think about this.... Every year older we get the more we need God to be bigger.... and he is. As our problems grow so does our understanding of him. I know that often I look at my problems and say it's to big for God to hand...

For the last 5 or 6 years of my life I felt that it would never be my turn. It would never be my turn to be in charge It would never by my turn to have people copy the way I dress It would never be my turn to have people follow my example It would never be my turn to be up on stage as much or more than my "smart friends" It would never be my turn to have the boyfriend that every other girl wanted When I teacher would leave the room for five min they would always ask Jen or Ash to be in charge.... When ever a protect was needing done someone else would always be in charge of seeing that it got done the right way. Now I'm the one that is in charge when the teacher isn't there, I'm the one that is helping make sure the yearbook is done the right way. All my life whatever Lindsey and Jennie would wear that's what I begged my mom to buy. Bell bottoms, t-shirts with funny sayings, pretty clips, black high hill boots, hoddies, dresses, skirts, EVERYTHING! Now I'...

December 10, 2007 There was a set of shootings that happened in churches in the US. It was a terrible event for everyone that heard about it and for those who were there it changed their lives... some even lost it. There is one thing that hit me the hardest, the parents of one of the teens that was shot and died came forward on national TV and said to the parents of the kid that had killed their child, We forgive him and hold nothing against you. The two sets of parents even morned their children together. We look at this beautiful, amazing scene and it makes me think... Where was that love and forgiveness when this young man was hurting badly enough to want to kill Christians? This is a quote I wrote down from a blog of the shooter I think the morning of the shootings. " I'm gona teach you all a lesson, us outcasts have to take a stand." There are many things that could have been happening in his life... I didn't know this young man, his family, friends, or church gr...